Message For Maralyn: Perfect Private Schools

I am really sick of Maralyn Parker. She's from The Daily Telegraph . I know, I know what you're going to say. Like any kind of sensationalist publication I shouldn't read it for the articles. But the thought of looking through the Tele for Maralyn's double page nudie shoot, makes me want to read it for the articles, OK?

Anyway, whenever I so much as read the headlights - I mean headlines - that was such a disgusting image you put in my head - stop it! - or heaven forbid, the following tagline, I know what she's going to rant about. Faster than you can say "Mean", she'll pour out some rant against independent/private schools and their funding, not that I've ever seen a factual economic report from her as to how the education system would be vastly improved if funding were stripped of all private schools, given to public schools, the private schools became really unattractive and no one paid extra funds to schooling any more (so everyone relied entirely on a publicly funded education) and all those kiddies who went to private schools went into the publicly funded system, which have now just had a few more chairs bought for them and their leaky roofs repaired for them out of their new-found public funding, but now have to have hundreds of classrooms added onto them, teachers found for them, libraries enlarged and so forth.

The hope is, of course, is that the government will allocate a huge amount of money to government schools to make them as smart looking as private schools, or close to (because Ms Parker's always moaning about how disgusting it is that some private schools have such excesses as rifle ranges when some public schools have tiny libraries), yet some poor rich sucker of a private school kid's parent is still going to shell out close to $20,000 per year to send his/her kid to a school that's only marginally better than the one down the road that's going for free.

Hey, if I were a millionaire, I wouldn't have come by my money by making poor deals and being that dumb about money. The Royals don't live in Australia.

If I shelled out twenty grand for a school, I'd expect twenty grand per year better than the freebie hall down the road. Whatever that means.

Though rifle ranges aren't my thing. Give me a really good theatrette with free musicals each year, an awesome library ... and how about a school zoo? And a chocolate cafe, like a Max Brenner, and slippery dips!

Many a school can be enhanced by an extra slippery dip or two. I prefer them to the hopscotch.

Ideas, anyone?