The Means: 2007

Saturday, 1 December 2007

RIP, router

Last week, Australia has decided to put to pasture her most prominent public servant (who seemed incapable of knowing or accepting it was time to go, on his own), and this morning Maxine McKew declared victory in Bennelong. In honour of this historic moment, I 'retired' my old Netgear WGR614 (v1) router, which has been causing me a great deal of frustration of late, failing with ever-increasing frequency to perform its functions. Many a time it seemed to have lost its cool and run feverishly hot dealing with what should be everyday working conditions for a tool in its position, and I thought it would only be fitting that its send-off should be fiery.

Placing the old router in solitary confinement inside a Pyrex baking dish, I put it in the microwave oven, and gave it 60 seconds on the High setting. Occasional flashes of blue and lilac could be seen through the thickening smoke trapped behind the brown glass walls; alas, it was much less spectacular than I'd expected. Not unlike Howard's final defeat, really.

This is the result:

A fair section of the antenna has melted, which did not seem so strange, given 802.11b/g uses the 2.4GHz spectrum, and microwave ovens use 2.45GHz radiation. (Of course my understanding of physics is probably no better than my understanding of politics, so I may be damn ‘wrong’.) More surprisingly is that most of the visible damage is confined to the charring on and near the rear metal faceplate, and the coils mounted on the circuit board. Other than that, it still managed to preserve the appearance of something that hasn't been completely destroyed.

I hear Howard is better off financially in retirement than while remaining in political office.

Footnote: In a departure from the parallels, the router was succeeded by a younger version of itself (Netgear WGR614v7). I think I'll call it the Mad Monk.

Friday, 30 November 2007

New Borders in Chatswood

Most exciting news for the Means here - There is a new Borders in Chatswood and it has already opened!

I hug this knowledge to me close and shout hooray!

(It may have also accounted for some unpredicatble discounts going about just recently?)

At any rate, I intend to check it out. Another Borders has to mean a good thing.

Monday, 29 October 2007

Great or even Normal Expectations: my rant

Recently I've perused Amazon.com reviews of books with some frustration. The main annoyance with reviews is some ding a book for not meeting their hugely high expectations of it.

Now, there's not a problem with giving a book one star because it's a terrible book.

I even have some understanding for people who give one star because they're having a bad day, or just out of spite.

But what about the reviews that run somewhat like this:

"i wus expecting this book to be a great in depth exploraytion of the minnd and it is reeeeeeeelly supperficial and it is just a deskription! That's all! It gives no insite! Thiss guy is ont qualifide to rite on this subjekt he juss wrote for some fun and laughs and hee makes fun of peeple. Yoo culd read it for kicks jus don't expect any useful info - ONE STAR!"

After you've deciphered the review, and got past the swelling rage and the offensive illiteracy, you figure out the guy didn't like the book because it was a light read, not an in depth study. Then you look at the synopsis and find out the book is listed under "light humour".

Then there are the reviews that run somewhat like this:

"This was probably a great book but my best friend kept telling me for weeks how it was so wonderful and fantastic and it was so clever and it would change my life and everything, so I opened it thinking it would change my life and it would be my favourite book ever and she was wrong. It didn't. I guess it was a good book but I was really disappointed. It didn't meet my expectations - ONE STAR!"

My reaction was - dooffuses.

It's not up to a book to meet your expectations; ok it may mean you hated it personally if it didn't, but does that warrant giving it a low rating? Should you judge a book by the hype? (Or by what you want out of it, rather than by what it promises?)

But then what kind of expectations are normal expectations of a book, and what aren't? Or should we read having no expectations whatsoever, and is that possiible?

If a book wins a prize, is it fair to expect it to be a pretty good book, and to ding it for not being?
If a book is classified as children's, or as factual, and is a bit too difficault/saucy, or is incorrect, is it fair to ding it?
If a book comes from an author who has a particular writing style, is it fair to expect that they'll have a similar style later, or be of a similar standard, in their next book?

What's a valid expectation?

Or is the answer - state your disappointment, but acknowledge objectively what kind of book it is.

"I couldn't stand the New X dictionary. It contained a clear error of fact; it classified an ostrich as a type of fluorescent cement used to seal the bottoms of fish ponds in Tasmania. On the other hand the book was extremely well written and had a lovely pink cover and while it didn't meet my expectation that it be non-fiction, I'd still have to give it five stars."

Humph.

Maybe not.

Perhaps the answer is this - any disappointment you feel in a book should be taken into account, you've just got to figure out why you felt it.

I said there was some difference between being disappointed in a book being lousy after it won an award, like the Booker, and being lousy after your friend hyped it up for you.

Mr Mean pointed out both were about hype - and you shouldn't fall for it - true enough. People make mistakes about giving out awards all the time, and they don't always have your taste. When a book says on the back "... a masterpiece ..." [such and such reviewer] there's a good chance it's a book you'll hate.

Why do I think there's a difference? Well, I guess my point is that when literary prizes (and often official critical reviews) come out, publishers use them to promote the book to us. And I think there is a bit more validity in relying on what the publisher or writer says about their book, whereas if you've just gone on the opinions of your friends, or the expectations you made up, then that's your own doing.

Publishers put books into categories (sci-fi, fiction/non-fiction, children's, romance) etc. We ought to be able to rely on them to have selected the right category. And while we should be more wary of critic's reviews and prizes, when they emblazon "Pulitzer Prize-Winning Book ... a masterpiece" on the cover of their book, then they've just gone and increased our expectations. So if they get their book damned on Amazon.com, they've kinda brought it on themselves.

On the other hand, if Aunty Maddie told us it was a terrific read and went on about us for months, and we finally read it and got mad because mad Maddie was wrong, then whose fault is that?

(Maddie or us?)

End rant HERE.

I've just got a couple of Bookers to read. I hope they live up to my expectations!

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

For shame! Bookkeeping may just be my calling

Earlier this year, I installed several bookcases in the hope that they'd encourage redress of the discrepancy between the rate at which I amass books, and the rate I actually read them. Sadly, the bookshelves have been silent and uncooperative, and the strategy has yet to deliver to expectations, which is why I must now bring it up at the one-on-one quarterly review.

I've long resigned (alright, volunteered for a redundancy package, to be technical) to not knowing how many unread books of fiction – quite obviously in the dozens – there are in my possession. Thanks to Borders, that number has recently surged by another 25 or so, despite Mrs Mean being the bigger winner (with sixty-odd new titles to her collection, at a guess) and our putting another fifty up for adoption. So much so, I've had to clear the bookcases of half the ‘thrillers’ – some battered from use, others practically brand new – and packed an archive box solid. With too much time on my hands (and still not motivated enough to start reading), I foolishly catalogued the books of fiction around the place, and counted.

Oh Lordy.

Disregarding manga and graphic novels, ignoring such tomes as William Shakespeare: Complete Works, and not including what has been boxed (to give away or simply get them out of my sight), over 100 unread titles remain on the shelves and are easily in the majority (of English novels here). That seriously gives me pause and guilty pangs when I find myself looking to get Sergei Lukyanenko's The Night Watch, The Day Watch and The Twilight Watch and Kim Stanley Robinson's multi-award winning Mars trilogy at the best price or bargain. At this rate, by the time I actually get around to reading them, Mars will probably have already been colonised, and it won't be science fiction any longer!

What to do? I guess one tactic would simply be to box a few more books and suppress any rational responses to the situation. Another would be to start reading, but how does one tackle the list? Avid reader that I am, the last time I actually finished reading a (physical) book of fiction^† – not including manga – cover-to-cover was Neil Strauss's The Game, although that was nearly two years ago and some would say it was all real…

Eiji Yoshikawa	Musashi
William Diehl	Primal Fear
Frank Herbert	Dune
J.R.R. Tolkein	The Fellowship of the Ring
J.R.R. Tolkein	The Two Towers
J.R.R. Tolkein	The Return of the King
Gaston Leroux	The Phantom of the Opera
Orson Scott Card	The Worthing Saga
Stephen King	Firestarter
Stephen King	Different Seasons
Arthur C. Clarke	2001: A Space Odyssey
Steven Pressfield	Gates of Fire
J.R.R. Tolkein	The Hobbit
Anne Rice	The Vampire Lestat
Neil Gaiman	Neverwhere
Connie Willis	Doomsday Book
Connie Willis	To Say Nothing of the Dog
Daphne Du Murier	Rebecca
Joe Halderman	The Forever War
Gregory David Roberts	Shantaram
Thomas Malory	Le Morte D'Arthur
Dan Simmons	Hyperion
Scott Turow	Presumed Innocent
William Gibson	Mona Lisa Overdrive
Philip K. Dick	Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Anne Rice	Queen of the Damned
Milan Kundera	The Unbearable Lightness of Being
David & Leigh Eddings	Belgarath the Sorceror
Gene Brewer	K-PAX
Dan Simmons	Phases of Gravity
R. Shea & R. A. Wilson	The Illuminatus! Trilogy
C. J. Cherryh	Cyteen
Tara Moss	Split
Nelson DeMille	The General's Daughter
Laurell K. Hamilton	Guilty Pleasures
Oscar Wilde	The Picture of Dorian Gray
William Gibson	Count Zero
William Diehl	Show of Evil
Gene Brewer	On a Beam of Light
Neal Stephenson	The Diamond Age
Neal Stephenson	Cryptonomicon
David Mitchell	Cloud Atlas
Marion Zimmer Bradley	The Firebrand
David Baldacci	Absolute Power
Orson Scott Card	Seventh Son
Orson Scott Card	Red Prophet
Orson Scott Card	Prentice Alvin
Dean Koontz	The Face of Fear
Peter Carey	Bliss
Peter Carey	True History of the Kelly Gang
Anne Rice	Tale of the Body Thief
J. M. Coetzee	Disgrace
Gene Brewer	The Worlds of prot
John Grisham	The Client
Neil Gaiman	American Gods
Robert A. Heinlein	Stranger in a Strange Land
Luke Rhinehart	The Dice Man
Nelson DeMille	The Talbot Odyssey
Dean Koontz	Cold Fire
John Grisham	The Partner
Steven Pressfield	Tides of War
Daniel Handler	Watch Your Mouth
John Fowles	The Magus
Dan Brown	Angels and Demons
William Gibson	Virtual Light
John Grisham	The Pelican Brief
David Baldacci	The Winner
Umberto Eco	Foucault's Pendulum
Susanna Clarke	Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Cecilia Dart-Thornton	The Ill-made Mute
Cecilia Dart-Thornton	The Lady of the Sorrows
Cecilia Dart-Thornton	The Battle of Evernight
William Gibson	Pattern Recognition
John Grisham	The Testament
Mario Puzo	The Last Don
John Grisham	The Chamber
Bret Easton Ellis	American Psycho
David Eddings	Domes of Fire
David Eddings	The Shining Ones
David Eddings	The Hidden City
Scott Turow	The Burden of Proof
Umberto Eco	The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana
Joe Halderman	Forever Peace
Sebastian Faulks	Human Traces
Orson Scott Card	Children of the Mind
David Baldacci	Total Control
Anne Rice	Memnock the Devil
Anne Rice	The Vampire Armand
Anne Rice	Servant of the Bones
Nick Earls	Bachelor Kisses
Nick Earls	Perfect Skin
Tara Moss	Fetish
Brothers Grimm	Magic Tales
Orson Scott Card	The Folk of the Fringe
Dean Koontz	The Mask
Scott Turow	Pleading Guilty
John Grisham	The Street Lawyer
William Diehl	Reign in Hell
Thomas Harris	Hannibal
John Grisham	The Brethren
Joe Halderman	Forever Free

^† I read fiction on the Web often: see Wikipedia, SMH.com.au, or the Liberal Party's web site.

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

How we love to hear the echo of our own political whinges. Even if we pay for it.

Election time is upon us again, and here at Mean Manor we're just as much into the ol' politician voodoo doll as the next person.

What I just don't quite understand is the massive appeal of books like this:

First there was "Not Happy John", now there's "Still Not Happy John". There's something to this lady's series. We're all waiting for, "Really Bloody Still Not Happy John Waiting For You To Agree to Three Debates!" and "Come On Guess What the Still Not Happy is For, John" and "Won't Be Happy Til We Pull The Plug On Your Life Support John"

Still, despite me not quite getting it, this one's predecessor hit a nerve. Enough of a nerve that people paid lots of cash to read someone reminding them how much they couldn't stand someone, and why.

If you're a John supporter, I can't see you having this one among your treasures. If you're a Kev supporter, you've already probably got this one in the form of your personal diary, and if you're a swinging voter you probably receive so much political junk mail, pamphlets and phone calls that one more piece of someone else's mind is going to turn you into someone either really really dark and scary, ready to thump someone (Mark Latham look alike) or make you turn really old and bald and sorry looking all of a sudden (John Howard look alike), neither of which are appealing options.

So who forks out $26.95 for this to sit on their bookshelf, and either be the destruction of their icon, the replica of their diary, or a headache?

Gosh I don't know how this book does so well, but Margo Kingston somehow manages it. An amazing achievement in itself.

Monday, 15 October 2007

At Coles, you get more

Friends, y'all know I love freebies and am not generally one to decline bonus offers, but earlier today there was one such rare occasion:

There was a live spider (which you can see in the bottom left corner), about the size of my thumb up to the first knuckle, inside this pack of Coles-branded rocket that I was considering purchasing. Now, I know it says ‘salad’ on the packaging, but historically that only meant there are blades of grass and some amount of dirt included with the rocket. Could this be the reason behind the recent 11% price increase, the second in as many months, of this stock item?